Old Soul, Young Heart

I think I want to live the kind of life that our good family friend, Pam Floyd, has lived. Although I'm sure there is a special importance and life enrichment to having children that nothing else can replace, I think traveling the world, seeing all of the beauty it has to offer, and meeting all kinds of people would come close. And this is what I want to do. I am so, SO excited to go on this cruise with her in July. The woman has been everywhere already and just continues to go any moment that she can. She has so much knowledge about places and can tell you stories about where she's visited from years ago. It makes me regret not paying attention to the places I have been.

I totally forgot until right now that today is my mom's birthday. It wouldn't have even occurred to me either had my aunt not mentioned it a minute ago. Usually I'm pretty good at remembering dates like this, though they don't bear as much importance to me as they do to my dad or the rest of my family. I feel really bad about it though because the day is over and I never even thought about her. She would've been 57 today. How different life would be if she were here... Happy birthday, Momma. I miss you lots.

I used to love Dane Cook so much. I don't know if he's meaning to do it as part of his bit or whatever, but it totally makes it not as funny when you blatantly say things just to get a reaction. For example, talking about sex in such a raunchy way. At first it's funny because it's completely unconventional to do that, even on Comedy Central at 9:00 p.m. Central Standard Time on a Sunday. For me, after awhile it just gets stupid. You can say all these shocking things but I don't laugh about it. Tell me real jokes. I will say that he's good at the delivery, though. I can appreciate metaphors and sound effects and truthful situations that are silly. And I did laugh out loud maybe twice during that special. But come on. Tone it down just a little bit. 

I made a huge purchase yesterday morning. I've been wanting a new computer for quite awhile but couldn't bring myself to do it because my old one was working fine. BUT, last week my Compaq started doing crazy things that I've never seen before and couldn't fix on my own. That computer was a good 4-5 years old, so it wouldn't have been worth it to try to fix it. So I got a MacBook. And it's totally sweet. And it cost me $1400. And that's the biggest purchase I think I've ever made. But I'm an adult now, and I can do that because I'm responsible for myself. And then yesterday evening my car doesn't start. My dad doesn't seem to know what's wrong with it either, which scares me because my dad is a car person. I hope it doesn't cost me a lot but my fear is that it will. I really just don't have a good $500 right now. And I hate asking for money. I guess I'll find out tomorrow. I got an A in my first graduate-level course

There are some days when I think I am going to die from an overdose of satisfaction. -Salvador Dali This isn't particularly one of those days, I suppose, but I liked the quote and thought maybe someday I will delightfully agree with it.

I'm having trouble sleeping lately, for about the past two weeks. Not sleeping, really. Falling asleep. I keep going over situations that have happened lately, specifically conversations I've had and what people meant when they said certain things, how I could have responded differently, etc. I even find myself coming up future conversations--what I would say and how the other person would respond. It's very frustrating because I can't go back and change conversations anyway, but I get myself all wound up worrying about conversations that may happen in the future. Usually I'll do this when I have something important really early the next morning but lately it's been every night and I'm wondering what's up with that.