I just read over the majority of my blog posts from this year... ya know, to kind of reminisce about what's happened, seeing as it's New Year's Eve. That's why I love having this thing; I'm able to go back and see what happened and what I have considered and learned this past year. It's just fun. Clearly, the majority of what I wrote about was the journey to and at Cambridge. I'm happy that I cataloged all of that. (I think if I do a scrapbook of my time there I'm going to include some of my blog entries about it. It will be a useful tool if I decide to do that.) My journey there included much amazement that it was actually happening and I think I still feel that way. I can't believe that I was actually there and did that. I wonder if I'll always feel that way. I wrote a list of the things I wanted to do while I was there in my March 21 entry. Here it is in full, with the things I did do bolded. Things I need to go/see in England: - Burghl
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I honestly don't know what I'm going to do with all of my extra time when I have it. The past three days I have been incredibly bored. This entire week I have had no plans; none at all. It's so strange to literally sit around all day and do nothing. I have watched movie after movie, both on my new tv and on Netflix on the computer. I started reading a book too. But I'm still so bored . With that boredom comes eating way too much. It is ridiculous how much food I have consumed. The insanity has got to stop, and it will... hopefully beginning tomorrow. I've been thinking the past few days how nice it would be if the new student fitness center was open on campus so that I could do something productive like work out, but no. It doesn't open until January 10. Speaking of lots of food, I was up early enough this morning to get McDonald's for breakfast. This occasion rarely happens (not being up early enough, but just having McDonald's for breakfast). My sa
I've been looking for a dress and shoes to wear to graduation for probably months now. (Is it too early?) Anyway, I've always loved espadrille shoes, but have no practical reason to own a pair. They are pretty vacation-y, but I think buying some for graduation might be a good idea... These are $170, but I just love them and want them so bad . We'll see if I can find some for about $50 instead.
Christmas is over. I can't believe it! Everything just happens too quickly. Interestingly, though, it also feels like it was a million years ago. I had a really fun couple of days. Philip and I did Christmas the same as normal, even though we weren't sure if it was going to work out. So I went to Hanna City for Christmas Eve. His family did things a little differently this year and their festivities were on that night. It was fun; his nieces opened their presents and we played some games and played out in the freshly fallen snow. Woke up Christmas morning at the Bourque's and opened presents with his parents, then made the drive home to get ready to go to my aunt's in Towanda. Ate good food there, opened tons of gifts (too many), made a pit stop at my cousin's house to see his new puppy and Wii, and then came back here to have our (me and Philip's) Christmas together. I got so much stuff; it was ridiculous. I am truly spoiled... especially by my boyfriend who
I recently read this book for class and it got me thinking a lot about myself. Ironically. Because the book is all about how those of us in this generation were raised to think we're super special and unique and, therefore, have really high self-esteem and can border on being narcissistic at times. It also talked about how we have very high expectations for our lives (in terms of making money, having a movie-like relationship, and generally feeling fulfilled in every realm of life), but don't necessarily put the work into meeting those expectations because we don't feel like we have to (because we're super special and unique). We then become depressed when life doesn't meet our expectations. It was just really good and gave me a lot to think about. So the semester is completely over for me now and I am oh-so-happy about that. I got As in all three classes, which also makes me happy. Work is over for a solid two weeks, but I think I'm going to go into He
I had two disappointments while at the mall this evening. The first was my "snack size" purchase of spiced pecans at the Bavarian nut counter. I must say that their "snack size" has been severely downsized from last year. I paid $2.50 for about a big handful of spiced pecans. Rip off. The other was more than a disappointment. It was more of a pissed-off-to-the-point-of-wanting-to-call-the-company-and-complain experience. I had bought something at Spencer's. I haven't bought anything in there for about 8 years, let alone stepped foot in the store. Don't ask why I did it this time--I was literally checking every store in the mall for this thing I wanted to buy. Anyway, I bought the thing, but about 15 minutes later was having regret about it, so I took it back. First, the guy was telling me that they don't allow returns on the thing I wanted to take back. I kindly said, "But I was in here like, 15 minutes ago." He said he remembered me and
A gentleman with an accent came up to the advising desk yesterday morning at Heartland. I quietly and cordially asked him if I could ask where he was from and he said England. And then I asked if I could ask where at in England and he said Liverpool. And I told him that I was there over the summer, in Cambridge, doing an internship. He had no interest in my story and I was bummed. I really wanted to talk England with him and ask him why he was here, of all places, but he just wasn't having it. :(
(I got this super cute countdown calendar from Hallmark. I just love it. It's all magnetic and it's on my fridge. The little shapes are magnetic too--you remove one each day. So adorable!) I just cannot believe that it's December! I'm quite excited for Christmas, though. For some reason I've been more into Christmas this year... even before Halloween I was excited for it, which isn't like me at all. (We all know how I love Halloween! It's my fav!) I don't know why I seem to be more excited than normal, though. I think it might be because of the break. That alone would do it, I suppose. I am also sad for Christmas this year, because unfortunately I have significantly less money and, therefore, can't buy as many gifts as I would like. I know that it's not all about the gifts, but I just like giving presents and not being able to buy everyone everything that I want (or at least as much as I have in recent years) makes me sad. This Satu
Couple of things. 1) My job at Advocate BroMenn has opened up again. I'm very confused by this revelation, since I only left in April. The person who replaced me was quite clear that they wanted to stay until they retired. I hope everything's okay with that person--but I really want to know what happened! Part of me wants to contact Bill and see if he'd give me the scoop, but I know better than that. My heart is hurting a little, just because I loved that job and I miss it. It would be silly to go back, after having left to finish graduate school. Sigh... 2) I received an *almost* perfect score on my ethnography paper on the culture of the Deaf Redbirds Association and deaf culture, along with an offer from Dr. Phyllis to help me pursue getting it published. I wasn't expecting this at all and I'm not sure if I totally agree that it's publish-worthy, but it's quite flattering to be told that from the prof. There's no reason why I wouldn't want t
I got an email yesterday from John Harding, who was my supervisor at Cambridge. He wanted to update me on where the project I worked on has been going lately. Today he presented it to a committee and he's gotten word that the University of Cambridge has been talking about adding a £ 40,000 budget for international disabled students' needs. Though this is directly related to the work I did, it's not because of my project that this happened. It's still really cool, though, to see that things are happening with it already. If that budget is approved, it'll happen next academic year and I totally didn't think it would move that quickly. Awesome news! I know I've said this a hundred/million times, but I can't believe that I was in Cambridge and I did that. I can't believe that I can look at the picture above (King's College Chapel) and tell you exactly where I sat on the green space next to the river at "Singing on the River." I can&#
Well, I got talked into staying with T-Mobile. I went up to the little kiosk in the mall last night and asked them when my contract was up so that I could cancel it. They asked me all sorts of questions about why I wanted to cancel (everyone I really talk to is on AT&T; there were no phones that I wanted that T-Mobile carried; I didn't want to spend a fortune per month paying for a data plan, etc.). So anyway, I got all of my questions answered and decided that it was better for me to keep the plan that I had. I've been with T-Mobile for four years and I've never had a problem with them. I really like them, actually. I got a BlackBerry for $30 (really $80, but with a $50 rebate) and I can try the $15 data plan for a month without paying for it, at which point I can cancel it if I don't want it. The guy looked into a lot of things for me and was really helpful--he even gave me a free case for my phone. It's the little things, ya know? So my phone's prett
The worry stone that I got in Ireland is missing. (Looks quite a bit like the photo above.) It's green marble--the kind that's famous in Ireland. I know that I brought it home because I distinctly remember unpacking it. I'm pretty sure that I even remember taking it out of its packaging. I've searched everywhere for it. I thought that I put it on one of my bookshelves; I also thought that maybe Chloe had found it and batted it around a bit. (I still need to check the registers and under the couch to see if she's the culprit.) I've checked everywhere else and just haven't been able to find it. I don't know where else it could be! I'll be really bummed if I've lost it... that was one of the only things I got from Ireland and it was just so pretty. Hopefully it'll turn up. Random, I know, but I've been thinking about it for a few weeks now.
Oh, Mr. Salkind. You're wrong. I really do hate statistics. It just took me over three hours to complete eight problems out of this book. I had anticipated that it would take awhile and I had just been putting it off for about three weeks now. But now it's done. Well... about 95% done. This weekend has been the first where I've really felt like I was in graduate school this semester and where it felt like my job was to be a student. I spent the better part of today and yesterday at the library, just trying to crank out these major assignments that are due this week. A 15 page paper is behind me, with only a final read-through and printing to be done. It really feels like the end of the semester or the end of the year, but alas, I'm not quite there. Thanksgiving is next week, but unfortunately, break is never really a break. I have one group project, one group presentation, one final paper, one final exam, and one small(ish) research presentation to complete in
I always say that I don't generally like country music, but I just seem to like Carrie Underwood. I think she's so talented and I never can find a part that I don't like in songs that she writes. She also just seems nice and down-to-earth; she's also beautiful and has good style. So anyway... I've been listening to this song all day and crying the whole time, for many obvious reasons. Enjoy.
Today was basically ridiculous for crazy people at Heartland. Okay... not crazy. Rude? Yes. I mean, the number of crazies wasn't that high (about three that I actually dealt with), but this is still way more than normal. (Normal being none. Today I apparently picked up all of the #2 and #3 callers.) I guess it's just getting to be that time of the semester when people are freaking out, but what gets me is that it seems as though people want to generally always blame someone else for their issue when really it's possibly and probably their own fault. One woman literally yelled at me on the phone today. Really? Yelling at the person at the advising desk? I pretty much just disregarded her tantrum and treated her just as I would anyone else. I just cannot respond to someone who is belittling me. How did people ever learn that treating other people like that will get you ahead in life? I just don't get it.
I know it's not quite the 31st, but I probably won't write tomorrow, so here's wishing you a fantastic Halloween. Halloween is probably my favorite holiday, but for some reason I just haven't been into it this year. I think I just have way too many other things occupying my brain lately and usually it seems I get all excited for nothing anyway. I had my first hearing as a University Hearing Panelist this week. I was actually really nervous for it. Basically we ask questions to students that are "charged" with disobeying the Student Code of Conduct--things like the alcohol policy or disorderly conduct. We then decide if they were in violation and what sanctions they should be given if they were. I take it very seriously, both because what we decide is on a student's record and because I think it's really important that they learn from what they did (if they did it). I want to choose right and it's way harder than I had anticipated it to be. I l
Well, you'll notice that I have a new background. I've been looking for awhile for a new one and I couldn't find one that I just loved. (We all know how picky I am about such things.) I started looking again today and found two websites that had tons that I liked... so many, in fact, that it was hard to pick one. This is rare, so I knew I had to actually change these up on here. (I had the cloud/plane background since I started writing in April 2009.) So I got this one from Hot Bliggity Blog . The other website that had tons of cute ones was The Cutest Blog on the Block , in case you're interested. This weekend has been fun. Friday night Philip and I went to the season opener for the Prairie Thunder. It was a good game; they won. Last night was my dad's annual wiener roast, which is always fun. Lots of family and family friends--lots of talking about what's going on with me. Today was my dad's birthday, so we had dinner at Busy Corner and ate cake
That's meeeee. A busy bee. Like usual. (Can you tell that I just always put a picture at the beginning of my blog? It keeps the spacing of the following paragraphs the way they should be. I still wish I could figure out how to fix that without needing a picture.) I don't think anything terribly new has been happening lately. Just living week to week. I'm amazed how fast the weeks go. It's probably because life is just insane and doesn't slow down until Friday afternoon. Luckily, my weekends haven't been very busy at all so I've had time to just relax and be by myself a bit. The weeks go by quickly, but at the same time, I can't believe that there are still seven weeks until the semester is over. I guess that doesn't sound that bad. And I'm lucky--I think coursework could've been a lot worse than what it's turning out to be. I met with Dr. Phyllis today to discuss several things that have been on my mind regarding my skills, expe
Yesterday morning I had a great opportunity to watch the film Shooting Beauty . Disability Concerns co-sponsored the screening with Diversity Advocacy, so it was suggested that I attend. I must say that I was blown away by this documentary. Basically this woman (a professional photographer) volunteered at a center for folks with cerebral palsy and rigged cameras to their chairs so that they could take photos of their lives. Their pictures were eventually featured in a gallery in Boston. The woman/photographer and the director (a cute, married couple) were there to talk about their experience afterwards. I thought the movie was just really well done. The content was so inspirational and it made me think a lot about working with students with disabilities. Though there are only a few students that I come into contact with that have severe disabilities, I feel in some way that I have a heart for it. So I'll keep that feeling and chew on it for awhile. In contrast, yesterday afte
My second favorite time of year (after the 4th of July and tied with Christmas) is finally here... fall! I've been burning my favorite candle (Fall Festival from Yankee) up until this morning when I sadly realized that the wick was too short to burn anymore even though there was wax left in the jar. I quickly went to the Yankee Candle store to replace it, only to find out that the scent has been discontinued! I had figured as much, since I had bought the candle probably four years ago. After deliberation, I went with Vanilla Pumpkin, which is similar but not quite the same. It'll do! I bought the tumbler size (which has two wicks) instead of a jar and it seems to be burning more evenly, so hopefully I won't have the issue that I came across this morning. This weekend I am reading roughly 380 pages (an entire book) for class on Monday. The book is actually good and interesting, which is helpful... but 380 pages?! The book is called Hope in the Unseen and is about a yo
Lately I've been noticing more in photos that I look like my mom, especially in the eyes. A few years ago someone told me that I'm beginning to look more like her. My hands also look exactly like her's did. When I first noticed this, I sat and stared at them for a long while. I wish my mom were here so that I could talk to her, because we'd have a lot of crazy things to discuss. I feel sad sometimes that I don't know what her reaction or advice would be to me. I guess I can only imagine what she would say.
Remember sunbursts? I did one last night. I must really need some therapy/escape from thinking right now. I had my Crayola markers out from using them on a project for class over the weekend. I noticed them on my desk, took them out of the package, chose colors, grabbed a sheet of paper, and just did this for 20 minutes last night without even thinking about it. It turned out neat, I think. Tonight I reluctantly attended a meeting for the Deaf Redbirds Association, a student organization at ISU. I have to "immerse" myself in the culture and really get to know the student group for one of my classes this semester. I chose DRA because I know nothing about the deaf culture and thought it might be important since I work in Disability Concerns. Plus, it interests me. I totally was overthinking this meeting... naturally. I was really worried that I would have to introduce myself, which would obviously prove difficult since I don't know ASL. It was not what I had anticipate
An update on the binder situation: I got an email back from Carrie (house mom in Cambridge), who I had left the binder with and who was going to take it to the DRC to see it off from the post. She apologized profusely about it, which made me feel bad because it wasn't her fault at all. She admitted that sometimes people in the DRC are "awkward, especially [insert name of individual who I suspect purposefully did this],"which I believe means that the only person who is awkward is that person. . Anywho... she thinks that I should email John (supervisor at Cambridge) and explain what happened, but I'm kind of over it at this point and realize that not much can be done. I think Carrie is going to try to gather the bits that were missing and perhaps find the actual binder and send it to me. That would be nice, but I'm not getting my hopes up about it. Oh well. I just started reading the book Traveling with Pomegranates last night because I received it in
I wonder why it's so difficult to make new, real friends. (Note the old, real friends above. Love them.) It takes so much effort to really get to know people. I thought at some point that this would end. Even now, at this age, it seems like people are still wrapped up in trying to impress each other and outdo one another. I have been over that for years. I want to get to know people, but I just can't muster up the energy for something that feels extremely fake. All I want is real conversation and friends that won't move on to the next person once they find someone who is more entertaining. Is that too much to ask?
I never thought a binder would mean so much to me. Today I received mail from the University of Cambridge! I was so excited about it! My excitement quickly vanished into confusion, frustration, and sadness when I realized that it wasn't the entire binder I had put together during my time there this summer. From what I saw, all they sent back to me were some of the materials that I used to do my research. All of the extra things that I had accumulated about the university weren't there, nor was the actual binder. I'm wondering why this happened. The reason I didn't just take it home with me in my luggage was my concern that my bags would be too heavy. Carrie was happy to take the binder back to the DRC; she was sure that the DRC would be happy send it back to the U.S. for me since I worked there for free. I said there was no rush--if it arrived in six weeks it didn't matter. So here it is... eight weeks later and I get not even half of what I had put together
This morning I had the Division of Student Affairs orientation at ISU. I was mostly indifferent about attending this today--orientations are usually somewhat interesting, but mostly monotonous. I must say that I loved this orientation. I so wish that I could have done it last year. The part that really stood out for me was the history of the institution. I love history anyway, but it felt particularly relevant to me since I'm from here. I am beginning to love where I'm from more and more. For a long time I thought it was really lame to go to ISU, but this presentation made me feel proud to be here and be from here. I will definitely have more school spirit from now on. It was also awesome because I got an official picture with Reggie Redbird (I think he was trying to look pensive in that photo?), I "won" a Division of Student Affairs backpack, an ISU clock/calculator/pencil holder, and Bone Student Center pen, we got a free Bird Shirt, AND we had Mexican food f
I'm a helping person. I like helping people. The thing about helping people is that it may not be a great idea to do so when they are your competition for something. Especially something as important as a job. I may have mentioned before that the thing I absolutely hate about this graduate program is that it constantly feels competitive. At first it was who came into the program with tons of student leadership experiences. I was definitely not at the top of that list. Then it was the practicum experiences this summer. Luckily I didn't have to partake in that process. Now as a full-timer I'm starting to feel the effects of needing to gather all of these experiences under my belt in an effort to cram my resume full of more skills and abilities. I must say, it is exhausting just thinking about it. And then I remember that everyone in the program is doing the same and in a roundabout way, they're doing the same so that they can outdo me. Granted, we will not all be ap
A few days ago I started to write this post about how it seems like three issues are constantly being blasted everywhere lately. (And when I say everywhere, I mean on facebook.) I was going to talk about how I think those who dislike Spanish-speakers and those who are fanatical about having guns and those who oppose the mosque near ground zero are all fearful bigots who essentially dislike anyone who is different from them and are generally mistrusting of other human beings. I'm over it, though, for now. I realize those words are strong and I may or may not feel that way, but the passion's gone, so I'm not going to pursue it. Life is semi-crazy right now, as I predicted. I survived the first week of being a full-time grad student and it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. The schedule is nuts--don't get me wrong--but the content is actually fun and interesting. Work at the Accommodations Office is going well. I'm doing lots of student training which makes
I just got done scouring my head for gray hairs. I do this every once in a while. It really freaks me out how quickly they can appear--literally out of nowhere. It also scares me how many I find and how often I find them. I started seeing them when I turned 24. 24!!! I really need to come to terms with the fact that I will continue to get older. It'll do not good things to my body and my mind if I keep fighting it. In other news, today I met my "CSPA buddy," Sarah. She's great. Ryan did a good job matching us up, I think, because it seems like we have similar personalities. I felt kind of idiotic, though, after I left. I think that when I meet new people, especially those who are close to me in age, I feel pressure because I want them to like me. I realize how silly it is to feel that way at this age, but I was just saying things that sounded stupid and I wish that I would take a moment to choose my words more wisely in situations like that. I'll have to kee
Yesterday I went and saw a movie with my friend, Julie, that I have been eagerly anticipating for months-- Eat Pray Love . Though I was excited to see how they would adapt it from the book and enjoyed it for this reason, I have to say that, overall, I was fairly disappointed. Tons of things were left out. The story was changed at the end and, although it wasn't all that drastic of a change, I was annoyed that they did it just so that it was like a typical movie plot. I don't think the characters were explored as deeply as they should have been and I felt no real connection to them because of this. The first ten minutes of the film were narrated, while the rest of it wasn't and probably could've been better if it was. Surprisingly, I don't think Julia Roberts was a good choice to play Liz, though I do think she's a good actress. The movie felt long even though they didn't include things they should have. Overall, it felt very "Hollywood," proba
Incredible news! When I met with Cecilia on Friday, she let me know that I would get paid for the work I'm doing at Heartland. I am officially a "graduate intern" in academic advising and can work up to 15 hours a week. I'm so excited about it because I was going to do the work anyway for the experience and this way I won't have to get a second job to make ends meet. So, yes... awesome news! Essentially I'm there to shadow the current advisers, learn more about the programs and classes, work on a couple of projects (an advising lab and a transfer day), and eventually advise students. I'll be there for the entire academic year and I can do my practicum there in the spring. The other fantastic part is that I'll be able to work there 30 hours over the summer if I need to--for example, if I'm unable to find a job right away. I'm so lucky to have this opportunity and I'm glad that I got in touch with Cecilia when I did. The mug is my f
I have never seen companionship as strong as what my boyfriend, Philip, and his doggie, Abby, had together. Today he had to say goodbye to her. She was such a great pooch. It is tough for me to put into words how unique she was. She was loving to anyone she met and could always put a smile on your face. She was very special and will be missed.
Well, I've officially begun my graduate assistantship. I was so excited to get this name tag! It represents me being a second-year grad student AND being full-time... things that I've been so ready for. I've been looking forward to feeling as though I'm a part of my cohort group for a long time, and I'm closer to that now. I've had three days of learning the ins and outs of the Accommodations Office so far. It seems fairly easy, but right at the beginning when everything is new, it's always overwhelming. My supervisor, Brady, seems really nice and easygoing. I've been so lucky to have the best supervisors and I think Brady will be no different. I got an email back from Cecilia at Heartland. I'm going to try to intern a little in the advisement center there over the next year and do a practicum there in the spring; I'm just trying to get as much experience as possible. Hopefully I'll be able to actually do some advising since that&#
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever feel truly comfortable being myself. As it relates to this whole student affairs thing, I have to say that, I have yet to feel competent and capable. But it's more than that. Even within myself as a person, I often find that I leave situations thinking about how I could've been different and I struggle with how I'm supposed to be. Sometimes I wonder if I need to be more strong and then other times I wonder if I need to be more humble and appreciative. It's this really strange spectrum for me and I don't see how the two extremes fit together. It seems as though you're either kicked around or the one that does the kicking around. My whole problem is that I don't want to be seen as weak, but I also want people to see that grace is a part of my "philosophy." Other than that, I've been thinking a lot about giving praise to God. The book I'm reading, Pillars of the Earth , has a main character that is a prio
Heath Ledger or Joseph Gordon-Levitt? It's Joseph. I always thought that they looked alike in 10 Things I Hate About You , but now that Joseph's turned into a manly man, it's a little scary how much he looks like Heath. Their mannerisms are also very similar. I just watched 500 Days of Summer and really noticed it. Watch this video and see if you don't agree! (P.S. Small crush.)
A few things I've noticed since I've not been working and waiting for my adventure to begin: 1) Even though I'm getting more sleep and wear my contacts fewer hours because of this, my eyes are hurting more and seem to be more tired and bloodshot. 2) Even though I'm trying to snuggle my cat as much as possible, she generally wants nothing to do with me. Sometimes she's like this, but I think she's had this attitude more lately than normal. It might be because the luggage has been out and she knows I'm leaving and is mad at me. :/ 3) I'm feeling slightly unorganized about leaving but am noticing that I don't really care that much. This is strange for me because usually I'm 100% OCD and worrisome about situations such as these. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, as I don't want to be caught off-guard or unprepared. I guess if I am, it'll be a learning experience. Three days from right now I will be flying to
I'm trying to decipher why I'm feeling nervous right now, but I've been having trouble pinpointing it. I've been wondering if it's because the time is getting nearer, but I really don't think that's it. I'm more excited than anything. Prior to today, I think I was nervous because I'm not 100% sure what the work I'll be doing at Cambridge will be like. However, this morning I talked to John, my supervisor, on the phone and essentially we just chatted again about things I already knew, but it was good to actually hear them from a human, rather from an email. I feel good about it now. About going to England, I was also wondering if my nervousness was because of the flight--but up until I was wondering that, I had never before considered that I was nervous about it. Again, I get more excited than nervous about such things. I've also considered that it might be because I have this paper due tomorrow, but that can't possibly be it because it&
I have one assignment left this semester and I think it will nearly kill me to finish it. No... not really at all. I just find the assignment itself to be silly. Having all of this extra time that I don't know what to do with makes me want to do anything but what I need to actually do. That doesn't make sense. I'm also pretty sure that I did this when I didn't have time. Excuses excuses. I completed my initial packing and decided that my large suitcase is entirely too small. Though I would like to bring my whole closet, it seems as though it's not going to happen. (Darn!) My issue is not knowing what type of clothing to bring. I'm not sure if I should pack more dress-up clothes or more casual clothes. I'll be "working" 20 hours a week, which means that I'll probably need a semi-dressy outfit for Monday-Friday. I've also been told that the temperature CAN get decently warm. The good thing, I guess, is that most of my dressy clothes (tops,
I really can't believe that my time at Advocate BroMenn is over. I'm not sure that if my first job out of college was somewhere else that I would've grown as much as I did while at BroMenn. I can't express how lucky I was to have worked there, to have gotten to know the people and students in Mission & Spiritual Care, and to have learned as much as I did about life, death, and God. It was where I needed to be. It's hard to think that it's really time for me to move on. It has truly been bittersweet. I will miss this place and these people, but I will take a lot with me and I will always have that.
Even though tomorrow is my last day at my job, it is still so surreal. Thinking about being here every day for the past 3 years and then after tomorrow, never coming back, is a very strange feeling. I can't imagine leaving a job after working somewhere for 30 years or something. On Monday I thought that Philip and I were meeting his hockey friend and his hockey friend's wife at Medici for dinner. As we were waiting for them to arrive, I see my boss and one of my colleagues come over. Then all of a sudden everyone from the department is coming out of the woodwork of the restaurant. A surprise going-away dinner for me. It was fantastic and again, kind of surreal. I was showered with thoughtful words and gifts. I am so lucky to have worked here and am fearful that I'll never have this kind of work experience/relationship again. I think everyone must feel this way when they leave this office. So blessed.
I must say that it is very strange training someone else for my job. Strange, but happily familiar. I can appreciate being new and I'm glad to give advice that I wish I would've had. On the other side of the strangeness, I'm feeling good. It feels like this has been coming. (Well, it should feel that way--since it has been coming and I've been waiting for it for a year. Well, not waiting to leave. But waiting to go .) It feels good to do this final thing; to pass on the knowledge and really see what all I know. I will miss feeling competent. Sad, but true.
"What soap is for the body, tears are for the soul." Jewish Proverb I think it's really interesting that as I get older I see how I am more and more similar to my mother. I'm not sure if this is because of how I'm growing up or if I've always been this way, but I bet it's probably a combination of the two. What I do know is that how she was and how I remember her will always be a part of me, and I will continue to see aspects of her in me throughout my life. One thing that I've really noticed is how emotional I've become. I never understood why I would always find my mom crying at songs and movies and stories on the news. I would often make fun of her for it, actually. Not in a mean way--I would just kind of giggle at the fact that I always felt like she was crying about something that was totally removed from us and our little life here in central Illinois. Yes, it was sad, but it never really effected me the way it seemed to effect her.
Have you graduated from college and ever had someone say something snarky to you about it when you've said or done something stupid on accident? For example: You: [Said or did something stupid on accident.] Other Person: "And you went to college for what?" or "So much for that college education!" My dad did this to me today and it hurt my feelings for three reasons: 1) Graduating from college is a big deal (especially in my family, where my grandma and I are the only ones to have ever done so), but it doesn't automatically make you the master of the universe and smart about everything. 2) The thing that happened had nothing to do with being "smart" and had nothing to do with anything I would ever learn in college. 3) We were on the way to my induction into the honor society for education and it just seemed really inappropriate. I was sad (and on the verge of tears), but then I got to thinking about why those sorts of comments are made. Pe
Relief. (Big breath in, deep sigh out.) I got offered the GA position with Disability Concerns. It feels so good to say that and know it in my head. I'm so glad that it worked out and I'm really excited about what I'll be doing there. And I get paid for it and tuition is waived. Truly fantastic. I am blessed. And now I have to finish that god-forsaken research project. T-minus 5 weeks til England. Eeeee!
The semester finally feels manageable now that I have less than 4 weeks left and I can almost count on one hand the number of things I have to do for school. Just as a recap... Tasks left to do: EDCEP Class - Watch module 6 videos - Take modules 5 & 6 quiz - Watch module 7 videos - Complete module 7 assignment EAF Class - Complete peer review of Omolola's case study - Work on/complete research project The research project will take the most time and, though I've procrastinated quite a bit on it, I don't think I'm in that bad of shape. Lately I've just been feeling like I can only work on one project at a time, otherwise I get overwhelmed and just want to give up. I'm glad that I did put in some work on the project at the beginning and middle of the semester. I have a feeling that everyone in class is in the same boat on this project as I am, which is good. Well, not good--but it's nice sometimes to have people to commiserate with. In other news, Bill