I have really got to get over not doing 100% on every single assignment because I find myself getting anxious and upset. I got a 9.5 out of 12 on something and I can't stop thinking about it--what I should have done differently, if the teacher is just being bias or overly critical, etc. It's a 80% on that assignment and in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter that much. I still have a good shot at getting an A in the class and so what if I get a B? I mean, of course I want to shoot for always getting As and doing my best, but it's not the end of the world if it doesn't happen. My only thought now is that I'm trying to be a part of this honors fraternity and I need to maintain a 3.5 GPA to be a part of it, but again, does it really matter that much? Essentially it's just something to put on my resume and I guess if it happens, it happens. But now I've put all of this pressure on myself and it's really just kind of silly. I do good work and always put my best effort forth, so I guess I should be happy with that. I just need to calm down about it. GPA does not matter in grad school, as long as I'm getting Bs. It could always be worse--I could be worrying about getting those Bs!
I'm trying to decipher why I'm feeling nervous right now, but I've been having trouble pinpointing it. I've been wondering if it's because the time is getting nearer, but I really don't think that's it. I'm more excited than anything. Prior to today, I think I was nervous because I'm not 100% sure what the work I'll be doing at Cambridge will be like. However, this morning I talked to John, my supervisor, on the phone and essentially we just chatted again about things I already knew, but it was good to actually hear them from a human, rather from an email. I feel good about it now. About going to England, I was also wondering if my nervousness was because of the flight--but up until I was wondering that, I had never before considered that I was nervous about it. Again, I get more excited than nervous about such things. I've also considered that it might be because I have this paper due tomorrow, but that can't possibly be it because it...
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