Old Soul, Young Heart

I actually am liking this conference more than I thought I would. I had no idea really what to expect. I applied for the scholarship in February; I had randomly come across it from the AAWCC website, an organization that I am the chapter president of at Heartland this year. I thought, "Hey, why not? Free trip to SLC and I've never been there." Besides that, I believe in the mission of AAWCC and the conference sounded like a great thing, even though I didn't know much about it. I put heart into my application. And I couldn't believe that I actually got chosen! I am the youngest one here (from what I can tell) and I feel a bit out of my element. My "I don't know why I'm here" and "I don't feel like a leader" mentality has been met with a lot of the women saying to me, "Everyone's a leader in their own way," or "You just don't realize the potential you have," or "You never know what opportunities mig...

Yesterday I was in Joliet for the first ILACADA (Illinois Academic Advising Association) conference. I have to be honest when I say that I am usually unimpressed with conferences. I think they are important for networking and kind of "recharging one's batteries," but generally the sessions sound good to me but then don't deliver what I was expecting and wanting. This conference was different, though! The first session was about passion, something that I feel is lacking for me sometimes in my job. We were asked to grab someone nearby to us and talk about our three biggest personal passions and our three biggest professional passions. I dislike these sorts of activities because I'm horrible at coming up with things right off the top of my head. After 30 seconds of contemplation, the personal passions I came up with were my family, traveling, and animals. (I honestly don't have much that I am passionate about, which is kinda sad. I like a lot of things, but don...

My soul just feels better with fresh air in my lungs. I didn't bring anything to work with me for lunch today (I am so out of groceries right now), so I was forced to go somewhere. I decided on Subway, since I hadn't had it forever and because it's probably the least caloric option in the vicinity of work. I took my tuna sandwich to Fairview Park and sat in the parking lot overlooking the hills where they let the fireworks off on the 4th of July. (That makes it sounds so picturesque, but it's not really!) I sat there for about half an hour, five minutes of which was spent with my eyes closed with the sunshine on my face. I thought about how perfect of a day it would be if I were at a beach. It was still pretty nice, even for being in Illinois in the middle of a bunch of cornfields. I drove back to campus and went for a walk for about 20 minutes. I smiled to myself thinking that folks in England would think that this weather is really hot. I remember one day Carrie ...

It was sooo difficult the first couple of days after I started trying to eat better. (Or really, eat less . We all know I'm not the healthiest eater ever). I had a little relapse the second day (I ate more pretzel m&ms than I should have), but since all of my goodies are gone, it's been fairly easy to not eat horribly. I think I literally was going through withdrawal because it took everything inside of me not to gorge. Feeling good. Feeling a little lighter these days! Work has been so busy this week and last week. It's always the crazies that come in last minute who are super picky about the times for their classes and have multiple issues, as well. It's kind of frustrating and it truly exhausts me, but I know things will settle down more next week and thereafter. Saturday I have a back facial and a... face... facial, so that's exciting. I haven't had something like that since I think the summer. Then on Sunday Philip and I are going to another bridal...

I just had a very satisfying moment on the job and it really had nothing to do with actually helping a student. I was randomly sitting at the front desk while Kay was away and I happened to answer a phone call from a student who was in my Creative Writing class here at Heartland in Spring 2004. She's returning again as a student here and had a question about her transcripts from other colleges. When we were in that class together, man, she thought she was the shit. She was going to school at Columbia and was going to transfer to UIC and you could just tell that she thought Heartland students were worthless (even though... uhh... she was taking a class here). Creative Writing is the only course she took here and her grades were horrible from both UIC and Columbia during multiple semesters. And now she's returning to finish her Associate's... 8 years later. It was just a moment for me that made me have all the more pride in being an alum of this institution. People often ...

Today's List (Day 20): My Dream Space Would Include... 1. Dark hardwood floors 2. A colorful rug 3. Big, white baseboards and crown molding 4. A calming wall color like grayish-blue or mocha brown 5. Lots of windows to let that sunshine in :) 6. High ceilings 7. Dark wood furniture 8. Comfy fabrics--probably a big ole couch and two small, stylish chairs 9. Eclectic accessories 10. A home-y feel that represents me (or us, when we live together) -------------------- Today I had to wake up at 5:00 am to go to a community college articulation conference at Eastern Illinois University in Charleston, which is about an hour and 50 minutes from here. Matthew was supposed to go with me, but he was sick all weekend, so I ended up going by myself. I got to use a Heartland vehicle (Honda Civic Hybrid--with the HCC logo on the side and everything!), so that was fun. Driving in the fog at 6:00 am and in the dark, however, was not. It wasn't that bad; I survived and got th...

Today's List (Day 19): Inventions I Wish Were Real 1. Hermione's Time Turner. 2. Food that burns calories (ha!). 3. A teleporter? Really just some sort of contraption where I'm here one moment and then miles away the next. This would eliminate travel time and I'd be able to see my boyfriend every day and go to the beach whenever I wanted. (Is that what a teleporter is?) -------------------- I'm feeling kind of weird today... like really anti-social. So... update on the office situation: It's going to be six weeks until I can move into my new office. I was hoping it was going to be sooner, but it won't happen until the renovations on the other side of the office suite are done because the cashier is currently occupying the space that will be my office. I was so confused because she moved in--and I mean, really moved in. Even though it's temporary, she was unpacking decorations and pictures and arranging things as if she was going to be ther...

Today's List (Day 11): Favorite Things About This Time of Year 1. It's starting to feel like fall, which is probably my favorite season! 2. All the pumpkin and Halloween stuff is going to be in stores soon (if it isn't already)! 3. I always liked the start of the school year. It feels a little different this time around, but I'm happy that I'll always be around the feeling of the beginning of school! 4. It's almost Philip birthday! 5. I can watch Hocus Pocus in a few weeks! So many exclamation points, but I really do love this time of the year!!! -------------------- I'm excited because at work on Friday we talked about all of the office switching that will take place soon. I'll be moving out of the corner office that I've been occupying since I started to a smaller office that doesn't have windows. I knew that the time would come and I'm fine with it; I feel lucky to have the job and even have an office. I'll definitely ...

So the situation with the parent has been, I guess, about 75% resolved. Cecilia did some investigating and it sounds like the whole thing was pretty much pointless (the student doesn't even need the class?!). I'm annoyed and frustrated because the mother took a completely different angle with Cecilia, which probably makes me look worse. Cecilia reassured me that I did fine and that I shouldn't worry about it. I still feel awful; that mother said some very hurtful things that will probably stick with me for awhile. I still feel like crying about the whole thing. I hate feeling incompetent, but the thing that's worse is that I'm worried that Cecilia doesn't think I'm a good advisor. She doesn't know me well enough to know that I care, that I listen, and that I'm patient and understanding. All she knows is what she hears from other people and, unfortunately, this parent probably had a lot of bad things to say about me, which really just came from a pl...

Today, this first day of September, is the start of the newest 30 Days of Lists. I guess you have to pay to view the blog and know what each day's list is? I'm clearly not doing that (my $6 could be spent more wisely), so I searched the 'net until I found someone's blog that is participating. So I'm following that person now and I'll be able to know what each day's list is. So scandalous. With that being said... Today's List (Day 1): Goals for This Month 1. Get into better shape / start exercising again (I could stand to lose about 5-8 pounds and now that I'm on a normal schedule at work, I'll be able to work out in the Student Fitness Center most nights.) 2. Hopefully find a place to move into with Philip 3. Live every day without wishing for the future (I feel like I spend too much of my life thinking about how things will hopefully be someday, i.e. when I'm on a vacation, when I move in with Phil, when we can start our life ...

The end of another week. I'm always so amazed at how quickly the days and weeks fly by. I mean, it's already mid-August. Insanity! Tonight after work I went on a bit of a shopping spree, but I got the best deals ever . I found a cute top that was on clearance for $12.99 at JCPenney, but I also had a $10 off any purchase coupon, so I got a $40 top for $3.00. Then I went to Kohl's and found some black patent high heels on clearance for $11.99 (from $59.99). I also had a $10 off any purchase coupon there too, so I got $60 shoes for literally $2.00. It was crazy! I got $100 worth of merchandise for $5! I was so proud of myself for bargain shopping. But I also bought a $45 bra from Victoria's Secret (though I did have a $10 off any bra coupon... so it was originally a $55 bra). I was never a believer in Vicky's bras until a couple of years ago. I've been needing a new strapless one for awhile. The one I have is from sophomore year of high school (yeah--it's m...

I have to admit that I do miss my planner looking like this... This was a pretty typical week during grad school; sometimes more, sometimes less. I loved writing all the stuff I had to do in there and I think I miss having a lot to keep me busy (sometimes). I feel much less productive, even though I know there are things I could be working on. I think I need a lot of structure in my life; I don't do well with free time (even though I do love it). Anyways, I can't wait until I'm done working these late nights at Heartland. I thought I'd be cool with it indefinitely, but I'm totally looking forward to having a normal schedule most days. I will have to still work one late night a week until 7:00, but the rest of the week I'll be done at 5:00. My new schedule will begin on the 29th. Then perhaps I can have more of a routine--I really need to back to exercising and once I have time in the evenings, I'll be able to go to the fitness center on campus after ...

Today I was in two orientation sessions at work since I am officially an employee. First thing this morning we met with HR to talk about insurance and retirement and all sorts of other benefits stuff. I feel really lucky to work at Heartland because the benefits are really good. The health insurance is even better than at BroMenn, I think (or maybe I just wasn't signed up for the best one there). All of that always confuses me because I don't really know the jargon, especially for retirement. The retirement plan (SURS: State University Retirement System) is something that I have to choose within the next six months and it's a once in a lifetime choice! How stressful is that?! I'm sure it'll be okay no matter what, but it's confusing when they're talking spouses and annuities and investments and other things that I don't know about yet. I can't wait until I can go to the dentist beginning on September 1! In other news, why in god's name can'...

Yesterday's excitement was filling out a request for business cards. I get business cards!!! I really am growing up...

So, yes... I have a jerb. And Philip has a jerb. And we can move on with our lives. I can't reiterate enough how happy, excited, and relieved we both are. I just  knew we'd get jobs this week! On Friday our plan is to drive around Morton and see what types of apartments are there. We probably won't move until the beginning of October, but it'll be fun to look. I hope we're able to find something that's nice and new-ish and not too expensive. The tricky thing will be finding somewhere that allows cats. Now that it's actually going to happen, it's weird to think about packing up all of my stuff and moving, really for the first time ever. I wonder how much stuff I actually have. It doesn't seem like much (mostly clothes, really), but I'm sure it's more than I think. It'll be interesting to put all of our stuff together and it be our stuff. It's fun. And cute. There will be a lot of logistical things like furniture to figure out....

Student: "How do I know which teacher to pick?" Me: "... ... Well, if you know of the teacher and know that they're good, you pick them. If not, you just choose one and meet them when class starts."

"'Good enough' is a divine concept." My former supervisor at Advocate BroMenn, Bill, left this comment on a facebook status update of a former chaplain colleague. I had heard other former colleagues say this phrase before about being a "good enough" chaplain and I was always intrigued by the idea. I'm not sure how "good enough" translates into other types of work. I would venture to say that being "good enough" is looked down upon in every other profession. We always have to be above and beyond the norm or the expected. I cannot be "good enough" in my interview. I cannot be just "good enough" at my job. I have to outshine all the others... at least for now. I think we are all raised to think that "good enough" is not good enough. That makes no sense, but at the same time, it does. "Good enough" is not actually enough unless it is better than others. I guess in chaplain-world, there is no com...

I cannot wait until I'm not walking on eggshells around here. I feel like everything I say and do is being criticized (even though I'm sure it's not). I'm probably just overanalyzing everything, but I can't help it!

Welp, the suspense is over. I know what the topics of my presentation and idea pitch will be for the interview at Heartland. My "short" presentation (10-15 minutes) will be on my academic advising philosophy. She included a lot of good prompting questions with things to consider when talking about it, so I think it'll be fairly easy. Well, not easy . I think it'll be easy to come up with ideas about things to say, since it's about myself. Putting it all into a cohesive presentation will be challenging and the actual delivery will, of course, be nerve racking. The idea pitch portion is about the Heartland GPS program that's starting up. I basically have to come up with ideas about the program and talk about how I would make it successful. Again, she gave lots of good background information on what they want the program to achieve, so I think it'll be okay coming up with the ideas for it. This part, though, is supposed to commence for 40 minutes, so I...

Today's List (Day 7): Blog Goals Hmm... I'm not sure if I have any blog goals. I sometimes say that I'm going to write in it more or make it more interesting (part of the reason I'm doing this list thing), but really I blog just because it's fun for me and I know there are a few people who like to read up on what I'm doing. Other than that, I just do whatever. -------------------- Today is my golden birthday. The day started off as it should, with a thunderstorm at midnight. Philip and I sat on the porch and watched it roll in! I had lots of nice "happy birthday"s at work and the student workers made me cute little Disney-inspired and crayon-colored birthday signs for my office. Philip and I went to dinner at Fiesta and then just hung out at home. It was nice. I can't believe that I'm 27. I never thought that I would get old, but it's happening... slowly, it's happening. I had a hard time when I turned 25, but I was tol...