I'm going to be totally candid. I'm in a weird spot right now in regards to all of this wedding planning.
On the one hand, I don't want to think and talk about it all the time because who can even do that? I, of course, (sort of) have other things going on in my life... though not a lot right now. I could basically drive myself crazy thinking about it because there are so many options, things to consider, and websites to browse. I also don't want to be "that bride" who only has wedding on the brain at all times and all topics inevitably lead back to the wedding. (I'm not really sure if those types of brides exist, but I imagine they do and I don't want to be one of them.)
On the other hand, though, I do want to think and talk about it all the time because it's an exciting, once-in-a-lifetime event. I both do and don't want to talk about it (bring it up or even discuss it at length when asked) because it's fun to talk about your plans, but I also don't want to assume that people want to genuinely hear about it for more than two minutes. It leaves me in this weird position of wondering how much I should actually share with people even though I really, really, really just want to share pretty much everything with anyone who asks.
This is all more weird because I literally have no one person who I can tell everything to. Scratch that: I have several persons I can tell everything to, but nobody I actually want to tell everything to and feel comfortable doing so. Philip will listen, of course, and be supportive and give his input, but he doesn't want to hear every detail. I can basically see (or hear--over the phone) him space out once I've passed the threshold of too-much-information. I have some close-ish girlfriends who will ask every once in a while, but this certainly doesn't mean that they want an all-out minute-by-minute update. Philip's mom will ask sometimes, but it's sort of the same situation. I know she wants to hear what's happening, but I don't know how much she actually cares to know or how much I actually care to share. My aunt Peggy is so busy that I barely talk to her anymore. My dad will listen and genuinely care, but I don't really want to tell him everything.
Unfortunately I feel the recurring theme of my life is that I need and want my momma. I wouldn't feel as though I was burdening her with too much information. She would want to know everything; she would want to spend hours with me hashing and rehashing every detail. I get really sad that this isn't as fun because my mom isn't here.
The other night I spent so much time thinking about this that I ended up having a conversation with myself about the ways in which my life is not how I expected it would be. (Moral of the story: my life is completely different than I expected it would be. Some good, some bad.) I think that I would be less independent but more social, with more friends (and girls to actually ask to be my bridesmaids without the fear that they'll be like, "Uhh... why is she asking me to be her bridesmaid?"). I would probably think that I'm cooler than I really am, more confident, and less appreciative of what I have.
Anyyyway, I'm anxiously waiting for the arrival of this book at the HCC library...
I hope that it's as awesome as I anticipate it to be. When I randomly came across it on Pinterest, I got so excited about it. I can't wait to read it and feel like I'm not alone.
On the one hand, I don't want to think and talk about it all the time because who can even do that? I, of course, (sort of) have other things going on in my life... though not a lot right now. I could basically drive myself crazy thinking about it because there are so many options, things to consider, and websites to browse. I also don't want to be "that bride" who only has wedding on the brain at all times and all topics inevitably lead back to the wedding. (I'm not really sure if those types of brides exist, but I imagine they do and I don't want to be one of them.)
On the other hand, though, I do want to think and talk about it all the time because it's an exciting, once-in-a-lifetime event. I both do and don't want to talk about it (bring it up or even discuss it at length when asked) because it's fun to talk about your plans, but I also don't want to assume that people want to genuinely hear about it for more than two minutes. It leaves me in this weird position of wondering how much I should actually share with people even though I really, really, really just want to share pretty much everything with anyone who asks.
This is all more weird because I literally have no one person who I can tell everything to. Scratch that: I have several persons I can tell everything to, but nobody I actually want to tell everything to and feel comfortable doing so. Philip will listen, of course, and be supportive and give his input, but he doesn't want to hear every detail. I can basically see (or hear--over the phone) him space out once I've passed the threshold of too-much-information. I have some close-ish girlfriends who will ask every once in a while, but this certainly doesn't mean that they want an all-out minute-by-minute update. Philip's mom will ask sometimes, but it's sort of the same situation. I know she wants to hear what's happening, but I don't know how much she actually cares to know or how much I actually care to share. My aunt Peggy is so busy that I barely talk to her anymore. My dad will listen and genuinely care, but I don't really want to tell him everything.
Unfortunately I feel the recurring theme of my life is that I need and want my momma. I wouldn't feel as though I was burdening her with too much information. She would want to know everything; she would want to spend hours with me hashing and rehashing every detail. I get really sad that this isn't as fun because my mom isn't here.
The other night I spent so much time thinking about this that I ended up having a conversation with myself about the ways in which my life is not how I expected it would be. (Moral of the story: my life is completely different than I expected it would be. Some good, some bad.) I think that I would be less independent but more social, with more friends (and girls to actually ask to be my bridesmaids without the fear that they'll be like, "Uhh... why is she asking me to be her bridesmaid?"). I would probably think that I'm cooler than I really am, more confident, and less appreciative of what I have.
Anyyyway, I'm anxiously waiting for the arrival of this book at the HCC library...
I hope that it's as awesome as I anticipate it to be. When I randomly came across it on Pinterest, I got so excited about it. I can't wait to read it and feel like I'm not alone.
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