Old Soul, Young Heart

Trying to stay in shape is a constant struggle and I've realized that it will be for my entire life. It doesn't just happen--I have to make purposeful choices every day and it's really difficult. It really is a lifestyle and, although I hate making excuses, I really look forward to when I again have time in the day to actually work out. It's tough.

Didn't get the Honors Program GA. I forgot how much it stings to be rejected. It sucks. It really, really sucks. I've had a different experience with this rejection, though. Christie personally emailed to tell me they chose someone else and offered really great advice to me on my interview after I asked her for feedback. There are just so many things to consider in an interview; I feel like I get so overwhelmed and worried about answering right that I forget what I've even done and how it relates. Pair that with not having much confidence in my own abilities and experiences (at least in regards to student affairs) = not good. All of this is making me wonder, again, if I'm cut out for this. I wonder if I shot myself in the foot for only being a part-time student and not having an assistantship this past year. I sometimes find myself wondering if I really even know anything about student affairs at all. I wish I would've known how competetive this program seems to...

Didn't get the Career Center GA. Totally bummed and annoyed. Mostly annoyed at the fact that they couldn't even call me or personally email to tell me. I got an automated email from the ISU eRecruiting website saying "Sorry, you weren't selected." So not only it is a "no," I can't even ask them why they didn't choose me or see what tips they could give me for the next go-around. I can understand if someone does that for a real job... but a GA position? Lame. I might just be lashing out at someone else even though it's really my fault. Oh well. I've decided that interviews in general are just bogus. How can someone reasonably understand how you are as a person and a worker from only talking to you for 30-60 minutes and asking you generic questions? People are never themselves in interviews. I mean, the sheer nervousness that you have at an interview has the possibility of you blowing any chance that you're able to actually convey yo...

I really have to force myself to remember that we're fighting the same battle. What is that battle, you ask? The battle is going against whatever standard society has set up for us as women. Because no matter what we choose, it's not right. Here are the three fantastic choices and common reactions to each: 1) No marriage, no kids, career. Selfish! 2) Marriage, kids, no career. G enerations of women before you fought hard so that you wouldn't have to be barefoot and pregnant! So why aren't you working?! 3) Marriage, kids, career. Why aren't you staying home with your kids?! Unfortunately, we all have to pick one option and someone is always going to tell you that you've chosen the wrong one. We're all working hard and making the best of what choice we've made. I have to note one thing, though. I'm not sure how productive it is for us to denigrate the choices of other women and say that one job or choice is harder than the other. So someone telling ...

I got $550 worth of pounds for England today from our family friend, Pam, who was able to exchange the money without a fee at her bank. (The money is so beautiful, by the way. Way better than dollar bills. I think the 20£ bill is my favorite, though. Purple, of course.) It's almost like every day now something is happening to make this thing feel even more real. Lately these "things" have been detailed emails from John (supervisor at Cambridge DRC) about my project there and Carrie (who I will live with) about myself, her family, and Cambridge. It's so exciting--I can hardly stand it! I'm not sure if I really want to count down the time I have left at BroMenn or the time until I leave, but... I have 25 working days left at BroMenn and 47 days until I fly to London! The time will go super fast and I realize that. I'm not trying to rush it; I just want to savor my last month at BroMenn because I will miss it. Besides, there are quite a few things to get th...

Places I need to go/see in England: - Burghley House - A beach - Canterbury (where I wanted to do practicum if Cambridge didn't work out) - Seven Sisters Country Park - Every garden I can find - Lambeth Palace Library's 400th Anniversary Exhibition Things I need to do in England: - Punt on the River Cam - Drink tea and eat a biscuit in a cafe - Find an old cemetery and look at the gravestones - Have a drink in a pub - Attend Evensong at King's College Chapel - Take a walk every day

My life would be exponentially more boring and lonely without my cat. I love her so much it's ridiculous.