I had a dream last night sometime between when my alarm went off and when my body instinctively woke up so that I wouldn't be late for work. The dream itself was so scary and I woke up grateful that I have never in my life felt unsafe. Safety is something that we all take for granted, I think, and I need to pay more attention to how lucky I am to have my basic needs met, while others worry about them on a daily basis.
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I'm not generally a fan of Katy Perry. In fact, I think she doesn't have much talent. I do like this song, though. It's pretty and fun to sing. I could have a whole other blog entry, though, on the Cinderella-complex. (I'm not sure if the Cinderella-complex is actually anything; I just made it up. I'm sure you can tell what I mean by it from the content of this song.) Also, this isn't the music video for it or anything. Some person just created it, I think. Enjoy! (Or not.)
New favorite clothing website = Shop Ruche . Thank you, facebook, for advertising things that you know I can't resist. This one is up there with the wanting-everything stature of Urban Outfitters and ModCloth . *sigh* Why can't I be rich and totally sweet-looking all the time? One of my favs from the look book...
I just made a really stupid mistake at work and I've been sitting here for half an hour trying to debrief with myself about why and how it happened. The range of thoughts during this time has been "I have too much on my plate and can't handle details as well right now" to "People overreact and this doesn't even matter." I feel very badly about it and I'm having a hard time accepting anything fully except for "I should have known better." That's all it comes down to and it's hard to admit to that. And when I tell my supervisor about it, that's all I can really say. I can't explain it away, even though I want to say a lot of things to redirect the blame. But it's my fault and I have no good reason. I just should have known better and I'm sorry.
I am having a serious case of never-wanting-to-do-anything-ever-again syndrome. I'm just so burnt out on school and just want it to be over. I have a lot of little side projects and readings to be doing for classes and I just cannot get myself to work on any of it. All I want to do is stare mindlessly at the computer and/or tv. I love school and I know I'll miss it. I'll miss learning and having discussions about things. I'm sure in a few years I'll get the itch to come back. Right now, though, uuuggghhh. Yeah, I'm not sure how much more I can complain about graduate school, either. It'll be over soon, I promise.
The interview at Heartland went pretty well, but I could have done better. I hate feeling that way. I will continue to go over and over the entire thing until I hear something, which might not be until April 1. I just really want that job and will be terribly disappointed and sad if I don't get it. I hope that I was able to convey how good I would be for the position. I knew 4/5 of the people on the search committee. I'm not sure if this was good or not. It's just so hard to know how it went! If the other people they interview are incredible, there's no way I'm getting the job. *sigh*