I'm feeling rather unspecial lately and it makes me sad. I realize that I'm not the center of the universe, but my birthday is the one time of the year that I like to feel at least a little more special than usual. Maybe I put too much emphasis on other people's birthdays and then when it isn't reciprocated for my birthday, I'm disappointed.

My uncle and I have always shared our birthday celebration because his is the 22nd of June and mine is the 27th. This means that we celebrate early, usually the weekend before my birthday. Doing this makes my actual birthday so anti-climatic because all of the celebration has happened already. I'd almost rather have the celebration after my actual birthday, that way I at least have something to look forward to. No one seems to get that having my celebration that far away from my actual birthday is kind of depressing for me.

So, with all of that being said, scheduling the celebration this year has been frustrating for a number of reasons. Everyone has tons of other obligations and things going on, which is understandable. My boyfriend doesn't seem to think of it as that much of an obligation to him that he has my actual birthday off or that he's there when we celebrate with my family. This is a huge disappointment to me because his birthday is always very important to me. He's working to get the day off but still doesn't seem that interested in the reason behind even doing it.

Part of me just wants to forget having a birthday altogether because it just seems like a pain in the ass for everyone. Maybe that's a little overdramatic, but it's how I'm feeling today and yesterday.

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