Sometimes I wonder if I'm setting myself up for a very lonely life.
At Thanksgiving, my aunt said that my cousin Adam was concerned about what the holidays are going to be like once my dad and my aunt and uncle are gone. She brought it up in a way that made it seem as though, since I'm the only girl in our family, that I should be the one to continue our traditions and get-togethers. I've wondered the same thing myself, though. Really it will only be the three of us--my brother, my cousin, and I and whatever family we've made for ourselves by then. My feeling is that, if we're still close, that we'll still get together at the holidays. You make time and room in your life for the people you're close to.
Beyond that, if I'm not planning on getting married or having kids, what will I have besides my family? And when my family is gone or when I no longer have much in common with them, who will I have then? In this way, I feel like I've slightly damned myself by deciding to not get married and have kids and the "normal" life and instead pursue my career and possibly move away from home and see the world. Will I even have anyone to see the world with? Will I see it and realize that the world is really in central Illinois? Right now it stands that I have to see the world to even know that, so I must do it. But the possibility of losing those close to me while going out to see the world is a tricky thing.
I don't have many close friends, if any really. I realize that life changes and brings new people into your life. I guess I just keep hoping that a really great, genuine, unique friend will make an appearance in my life and stay. Same goes for a partner. I mean, your family is who you make it.
At Thanksgiving, my aunt said that my cousin Adam was concerned about what the holidays are going to be like once my dad and my aunt and uncle are gone. She brought it up in a way that made it seem as though, since I'm the only girl in our family, that I should be the one to continue our traditions and get-togethers. I've wondered the same thing myself, though. Really it will only be the three of us--my brother, my cousin, and I and whatever family we've made for ourselves by then. My feeling is that, if we're still close, that we'll still get together at the holidays. You make time and room in your life for the people you're close to.
Beyond that, if I'm not planning on getting married or having kids, what will I have besides my family? And when my family is gone or when I no longer have much in common with them, who will I have then? In this way, I feel like I've slightly damned myself by deciding to not get married and have kids and the "normal" life and instead pursue my career and possibly move away from home and see the world. Will I even have anyone to see the world with? Will I see it and realize that the world is really in central Illinois? Right now it stands that I have to see the world to even know that, so I must do it. But the possibility of losing those close to me while going out to see the world is a tricky thing.
I don't have many close friends, if any really. I realize that life changes and brings new people into your life. I guess I just keep hoping that a really great, genuine, unique friend will make an appearance in my life and stay. Same goes for a partner. I mean, your family is who you make it.
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