I just got done scouring my head for gray hairs. I do this every once in a while. It really freaks me out how quickly they can appear--literally out of nowhere. It also scares me how many I find and how often I find them. I started seeing them when I turned 24. 24!!! I really need to come to terms with the fact that I will continue to get older. It'll do not good things to my body and my mind if I keep fighting it.

In other news, today I met my "CSPA buddy," Sarah. She's great. Ryan did a good job matching us up, I think, because it seems like we have similar personalities. I felt kind of idiotic, though, after I left. I think that when I meet new people, especially those who are close to me in age, I feel pressure because I want them to like me. I realize how silly it is to feel that way at this age, but I was just saying things that sounded stupid and I wish that I would take a moment to choose my words more wisely in situations like that. I'll have to keep that in mind as I'm continuing to meet lots of new people.

Also, for some reason I lied to Sarah about where I met Philip. (We met online. And no, it wasn't MySpace. It was before MySpace existed.) I thought that I was over feeling stupid for meeting him online and lying about it when people ask where we met. For some reason today, though, I hesitated and the lie came out. I regret that and I've been thinking I should come clean about it, just so that I don't have to keep the lie up in case it's brought up again for some reason. It's so dumb to worry about things like that. It's clear how uncomfortable I can be being me sometimes...

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