Every day after class I have the same feeling--I'm not cut out for this. I feel like such an idiot. I just need some reassurance that I'll be okay and that I'll do a good job. I almost feel like at this point that I need to talk to Dr. Phyllis or Dr. Marcia about it. I mean, I know I won't give up because I don't do that. I just... I don't know. I think if I was friends with the kids in my classes that I would feel better. I don't know anyone even after all this time and I don't expect them to try to get to know me--I'm only in one class with them this semester so what do I expect? They all have three classes together and many live and/or work together too. I just feel so awkward and like I don't belong to the point where I don't even want to be there sometimes. And that sucks. I just keep telling myself that it'll get better. It has to!
Well, I found out for sure today that my supervisor at the Accommodations Office is not leaving. I'm not gonna lie... I'm pretty bummed about it. I had sort of decided that being here for the next few years would be perfect for me. I wasn't banking on the fact that he'd leave (after all, it wasn't a fact), but I just spent a lot of time thinking about what it would be like if he did and now that he's not... well... yeah, I'm just bummed. I'm glad that I asked, though, because now I can take my job search more seriously. Not that I wasn't taking it seriously before, but now I know that being at ISU in that capacity isn't an option anymore and I can put all of my energy into other things. There isn't much happening on the job front here, though. I've only applied for one job in the area; all of the others I've applied for are in Las Vegas and Denver. I think it would be cool to move away for a few years, but it's not ideal. I...
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