Every day after class I have the same feeling--I'm not cut out for this. I feel like such an idiot. I just need some reassurance that I'll be okay and that I'll do a good job. I almost feel like at this point that I need to talk to Dr. Phyllis or Dr. Marcia about it. I mean, I know I won't give up because I don't do that. I just... I don't know. I think if I was friends with the kids in my classes that I would feel better. I don't know anyone even after all this time and I don't expect them to try to get to know me--I'm only in one class with them this semester so what do I expect? They all have three classes together and many live and/or work together too. I just feel so awkward and like I don't belong to the point where I don't even want to be there sometimes. And that sucks. I just keep telling myself that it'll get better. It has to!
A gentleman with an accent came up to the advising desk yesterday morning at Heartland. I quietly and cordially asked him if I could ask where he was from and he said England. And then I asked if I could ask where at in England and he said Liverpool. And I told him that I was there over the summer, in Cambridge, doing an internship. He had no interest in my story and I was bummed. I really wanted to talk England with him and ask him why he was here, of all places, but he just wasn't having it. :(
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