Every day after class I have the same feeling--I'm not cut out for this. I feel like such an idiot. I just need some reassurance that I'll be okay and that I'll do a good job. I almost feel like at this point that I need to talk to Dr. Phyllis or Dr. Marcia about it. I mean, I know I won't give up because I don't do that. I just... I don't know. I think if I was friends with the kids in my classes that I would feel better. I don't know anyone even after all this time and I don't expect them to try to get to know me--I'm only in one class with them this semester so what do I expect? They all have three classes together and many live and/or work together too. I just feel so awkward and like I don't belong to the point where I don't even want to be there sometimes. And that sucks. I just keep telling myself that it'll get better. It has to!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

So the situation with the parent has been, I guess, about 75% resolved. Cecilia did some investigating and it sounds like the whole thing was pretty much pointless (the student doesn't even need the class?!). I'm annoyed and frustrated because the mother took a completely different angle with Cecilia, which probably makes me look worse. Cecilia reassured me that I did fine and that I shouldn't worry about it. I still feel awful; that mother said some very hurtful things that will probably stick with me for awhile. I still feel like crying about the whole thing. I hate feeling incompetent, but the thing that's worse is that I'm worried that Cecilia doesn't think I'm a good advisor. She doesn't know me well enough to know that I care, that I listen, and that I'm patient and understanding. All she knows is what she hears from other people and, unfortunately, this parent probably had a lot of bad things to say about me, which really just came from a pl...
Read more
Well, I found out for sure today that my supervisor at the Accommodations Office is not leaving. I'm not gonna lie... I'm pretty bummed about it. I had sort of decided that being here for the next few years would be perfect for me. I wasn't banking on the fact that he'd leave (after all, it wasn't a fact), but I just spent a lot of time thinking about what it would be like if he did and now that he's not... well... yeah, I'm just bummed. I'm glad that I asked, though, because now I can take my job search more seriously. Not that I wasn't taking it seriously before, but now I know that being at ISU in that capacity isn't an option anymore and I can put all of my energy into other things. There isn't much happening on the job front here, though. I've only applied for one job in the area; all of the others I've applied for are in Las Vegas and Denver. I think it would be cool to move away for a few years, but it's not ideal. I...
Read more
Finally. We finally have a date. I'm so relieved and happy that we can move on from this. When I opened the letter from the chaplain at Wesleyan and saw September 22, 2012 at 3:30 pm (even in bold like that), I looked at it for a moment and imagined how nervous I'm going to be and thought about how it's actually happening now. Yay! This week during my lunch break I've spent a lot of time calling and emailing different reception places in town. Holiday Inn and Suites near the airport, Doubletree, and The Chateau are all booked for that date. I do have a viewing of Parke Hotel and Conference Center scheduled on the 28th and I'm emailing back and forth with Eastland Suites to see if they have our date open. It's actually kind of nice that these places are booked, just because it makes for less options and, therefore, less decisions to make. I think we'd be happy to have it at Parke, but I still want to see it in person again and talk to the catering manager. ...
Read more