I just spent some time with my dad, talking about and reliving what happened seven years ago tonight... the thing that has changed me and my life more than anything else--my mom's death.
It is unbelievable to me that it has been seven years. In some ways it feels like it was just yesterday and in other ways, like it was a lifetime ago. Similarly, sometimes I remember my mother so well that it feels like she's right beside me and other times, it's hard to remember even what it felt like to have her here.
I think nowadays I cry because of what I won't be able to experience with my mom--things like my wedding and having kids, but mostly just having her here to talk to about everything, anything. I get sad because I feel like the person I am now is not the person that my mom knew. I was 19 years old when she died and her death has made me into this different person and I wish that she was able to know me now. I have learned to love people better and I wish that I would've been able to love her better than I did.
"I know you're there. A breath away is not far to where you are."
It is unbelievable to me that it has been seven years. In some ways it feels like it was just yesterday and in other ways, like it was a lifetime ago. Similarly, sometimes I remember my mother so well that it feels like she's right beside me and other times, it's hard to remember even what it felt like to have her here.
I think nowadays I cry because of what I won't be able to experience with my mom--things like my wedding and having kids, but mostly just having her here to talk to about everything, anything. I get sad because I feel like the person I am now is not the person that my mom knew. I was 19 years old when she died and her death has made me into this different person and I wish that she was able to know me now. I have learned to love people better and I wish that I would've been able to love her better than I did.
"I know you're there. A breath away is not far to where you are."
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